What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
she smelled like a LAN party
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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