I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
