A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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