the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
