Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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