You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
