About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
