just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
