So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Randomize
