you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
