I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
