I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
