you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
