And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize