Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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