i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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