My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize