He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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