Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
