Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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