I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
