Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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