Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
