i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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