What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize