there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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