my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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