I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize