so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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