i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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