at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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