YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
