Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
