I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
