Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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