my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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