I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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