I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
