she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
