these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize