he puts the penis in happiness.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
