I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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