We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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