Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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