I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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