ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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