i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
