I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
