Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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