great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
