i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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