I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
