i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
