you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
