he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
