I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
