so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
