Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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