you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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