Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
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