i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
